Docs Concepts Misses and letting go
A miss asks a question. You answer it.
What a miss costs, how to read one, and when to let go.
A miss is a step down, not a reset.#
One missed day didn't set a new habit back.[7]
How a habit settles in
From the studyShown a streak broken, people carried on less, and less so when it could be repaired.[30][31]
The same week, two ways
IllustrationAfter a miss, answer the card and carry on. Don't start over.
Judge what you asked of the day, not yourself.#
Shame says “I'm the problem” and makes people hide. Guilt says “I did that badly” and makes them repair.[40] Self-criticism went with less progress,[42] self-kindness after failing with more effort.[41] A plan not cleared is usually a bar set too high (ch. 3): something to repair tomorrow, not a verdict.
When a plan isn't cleared, ask what you asked of the day, and size tomorrow from the answer.
Ask about the thing that slipped.#
An aim sets the standard for the daily steps, and part of the work is noticing when a step has stopped working.[32]
Where the question is asked
IllustrationLetting go of goals out of reach went with better well-being.[9] A practice is one way to an aim. Changing or dropping it doesn't give up the aim.
Three answers to “Still doing this?”
IllustrationWhen Still doing this? comes, decide: keep going, change it, or set it aside.
Know your rate. A day at it is enough.#
Your rate is the most your recent plans show you clear on most nights (ch. 3). Hold the day against it, not the hope (ch. 1), and a day at your rate met the standard.
When you do less than you hoped, compare the day with your rate. If it meets it, there's nothing to answer for.